Posts Tagged ‘Sachin Tendulkar bowled’

Things you mightn’t know about the Test match in India (clue: it’s happening now)

As a pseudo-journalist-blogger-non-personality, I feel morally compelled to shed some light about what’s going on over in India for all of you who don’t have access to Foxtel or the internet. Realistically, then, I’m targeting a demographic of precisely no one, so I welcome you, no one, to this humble blog.

While I won’t be rubbishing on about the BCCI yada-yada I’ve been pestering none of you with for the past little while, I will be throwing you a few clues about what to look for that was of interest in the last few days.

Firstly, if any of you have been reading the papers in the past few days, you might have realised that there’s something slightly amiss about the images being used by both News and Fairfax. If you look here, and maybe here, and here, you might find some visual curiosities that don’t usually grace the sports pages. For those who were curious, yes, these also featured in the print versions of these illustrious media titans.

Hilarious recreations, I agree, and a cunning method of bypassing pesky issues around access to images. Of course, the old Test Match board, glue and printer would have never needed to be broken out had someone in India pressed the “Yes” key. But we all know that it’s water under the bridge, and it’s certainly given me a bit of a chuckle. Long may it continue.

Moving onto the game, where we were greeted with a pitch that had been the centre-wicket practice strip for the Chennai Challengers for every minute of every day in the lead-up to the Test. As such, we saw more purchase on day one from the Indian spinners than Eddie Obeid at a South West tablelands auction.

A metre of turn in the first hour of play meant, predictably, that quickies Ishant Sharma and Bhuvneshwar Kumar were rendered specialist fielders.

You have to feel for Kumar; graciously given the great honour of representing his country for the first time, before being told to stand at deep point and prevent twos for six hours straight, then for a further two hours the next day. It probably wasn’t the romantic ideal he had envisioned when he decided to be a bowler of above 100km/h twenty years ago. Them’s the brakes in India, fortunately or no.

Furthermore, Mahendra Singh Dhoni made everyone else, but in particular the Australian bowlers, look like fools (Pattinson), damn fools (Siddle, Starc and Henriques) and whatever is below a damn fool (le spinners). Before MS came to the wicket I still held fleeting hope that our boys might dismiss the Indians without too much of a lead. One double century of depositing all bowlers over the pickets later, and it’s safe to say my hopes were somewhat dashed.

Now, watching Shane Watson lob a tame catch to Sehwag walking two steps to his right from slip, my hopes of an Aussie anything are fading faster than Bradley Cooper’s hopes of an Oscar victory. Daniel Day-Lewis and India have these two wrapped up nice and tight.

One the plus side, Tendulkar managed to get himself bowled again! He has to stop making this so easy for me!

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Bowled over: A tribute to the Little Master

Many of you who read, and the even greater number who did not read, my last vindictive post about the BCCI will know that I am now on a crusade to expose people to the delight that is watching Sachin Tendulkar being bowled.

It’s not because I dislike Tendulkar. Au contraire. He has the master of modern batting; a man who can grace the crease at any moment and take the game away from his opposition.

He is India’s Ricky Ponting, with a higher average to boot.

He’s the best since the Don.

Now while I’m sure Jacques Kallis would have a lot to say about all this (particularly statistically), we all know Tendulkar to be the most dominant batsmen of our times.

But sometimes we Australians, being the parasitic, grasping zombies that we are, must reach for the tallest poppy. It’s part of our nature.

And Tendulkar has gotten himself into this nasty habit of late, opening himself up to such scrutiny about being bowled by, well, being bowled, a lot. Sort of like Dravid did before he retired.

So with no further adieu, I bring to you three rather lovely videos of the great man being bowled in various ways.

Video the first – Pidgeon vs Tendulkar

A fantastic little clip; the uploader was even generous enough to include two minutes of Geoffrey Boycott (the guy with the broad Yorkshire accent) doing what he does best: tell everyone how bad they are and how great he is.

Though there is more of the former in this particular example, you can’t help but feel like Tendulkar was saying to himself: “get me out of here so I don’t have to listen to this guy’s dribble anymore.”

Not that he could hear Geoffrey at all. But you know what, it really wouldn’t surprise me if he could given the superhuman powers attributed to Tendulkar by his fans over in the subcontinent.

Oh, and then his middle stump (or is it leg stump?) goes cartwheeling.

Finally, Harsha Bhogle, the best commentator alive, can get a word in.

Video the second – Jimmy Anderson makes Sachin look rather foolish

You really have to concentrate hard on this one from the beginning. It all happens very quickly, just like that, “BOWLED HIM!!!”

Unfortunately this dismissal is symptomatic of Tendulkar lately.

Yeah, it was a good ball, and it probably kept low, but others might have kept it out whereas Tendulkar watches it cannon into his pegs.

The commentator (I think it’s Sanjay Mandjrekar) says it’s almost an offspinner, and it is. That’s no excuse for Tendulkar assuming the foetal position post-stump shattering. It only makes you look sillier than you already did.

And just to show that this is a common theme in such matters, I’ll remind you of this, which featured in the last post.

Video the third – Careering stumps end careers

One final one, just for those fast bowlers among us who love to see stumps flying and fast bowlers pretending to be aeroplanes.

Again, the master is undone by a ball that ducks back in and knocks back a branch, this time of the off-variety.

It displays Donald at his terrifying best; quick, accurate and achieving prodigious movement off the surface to dislodge one of the best players ever.

Many of you may have realised, by this point, what an extreme disservice this does to Tendulkar as a player of le cricket.

While this is clearly a horribly imbalanced report on one of the best ever, allow me to balance it out sometime in the future with a fitting eulogy of his career when he retires.

Or when the BCCI let the media do their job. Or just give Jim Maxwell a media accreditation.

Whatevs, I’m pretty easy, hey?

Why, oh why, BCCI?

Many know the BCCI (the Board of Control for Cricket in India) as the ones who replaced the fat, white men in light suits who used to control cricket. Some said that skinny, dark-skinned men in grey suits was a vast improvement on the previous model of cricket’s arbiters.

But what you may not have known is that the BCCI wanted to ruin everything (except the IPL).

While the above may be something of an exaggeration, what is not an exaggeration is that there is a high probability that if anyone from the BCCI reads this article I may find several burly, unpleasant men who just want to have a chat knocking on my door at 5am in the coming days.

Because I’m about to have a go at cricket’s new fat controllers. Any guesses who that might be? Ok, it’s the BCCI.

I want to let all my readers (that’s right, both of you) know that there is no more paranoid, bizarrely conservative body in all of sport, and there is no doubt that the two latest decision this body has made in the last week are completely ridiculous and should not escape extreme censure.

The first of these is to not allow Getty images photographers in the stadia for the upcoming Tests between Australia and India, and the second is their ongoing refusal to accept the use of the Umpire Decision Review System (DRS) for the same set of matches.

The first decision I mentioned has a story behind it. A very similar thing, in fact the very same thing, happened for the series against England last year.

The BCCI refused a bunch of photography agencies permission to shoot the games and provide images for the big papers in England. Instead, they proposed to supply all the images themselves, to which the British press said thanks, but no thanks. Basically it was a big flip of the middle finger from the British papers to the unadulterated bullshit that was that decision.

So you might think they would learn, because they did come under a fair bit of international scrutiny for that particular doozy, not least from bodies like the IOC and the ever venerated EITM (Everyone in the media… duhhh!).

But the BCCI don’t strike one as the smartest cookies in the toolshed, because lo and behold they’ve once again denied photo agencies access to the game. So my beloved SMH won’t have images except the ones provided by the BCCI.

“Yay!” you might think. “Hooray!” you might cry. At least there will be images, right?

Well yeah, I guess. I’m not going to get myself off on these pages about press freedom and all that, but God damn it there should be press freedom! People should have a right to take photographs of a sporting fixture, particularly if they’re part of one of the biggest providers of images in the world!

And why stop them? What do the BCCI have to lose by letting them in? A few seats in the press box? Well, I say fire a few BCCI employed journalists and let someone else (someone, I daresay, less vested of interest?) get in there and do the job instead.

I also suspect that should you want images (images that will inevitably surface, given the player in question’s recent record) of Tendulkar being castled by a quick, you mightn’t find them too easily amongst the BCCI sanctioned snaps. So in my upcoming coverage of the Tests between Australia and India, I shall make it my duty to include videos of Tendulkar being bowled.

Another tragedy is that although ABC negotiated for the rights to broadcast the matches on local radio, the fees proved too high for them to garner the requested funds. This is a great shame, as the broadcast of the last Indian tour with Mike Coward, Jim Maxwell, Glenn Mitchell and errherrerrherr (I forget his name, give me a break!) was very much worth the listen. It was one of the best broadcast tours I can remember.

So there will be no images, no radio broadcast in Australia (or online). But I swear there was another thing.

Oh that’s right, the little matter of the DRS. The thing, nay, the only thing, that stops players from having to walk off LBW after hitting the skin off the ball and having a curious, ball-shaped cherry on their bat. It is the only bastion between a batsman and being back in the pavilion despite having whiffed (and missed) a ball early in their innings. Let’s not forget, too, it’s the only thing between a “not-outing” umpire and a bowler going undeservedly wicketless in ruthless Indian conditions.

It’s completely absurd that the BCCI is the only thing standing between the cricketing world having a system that countless series have shown works, and one that is forever improving as time goes on.

Their argument is that it’s not 100% accurate. Well, to be fair, neither’s your judgement, and neither’s Billy Bowden’s judgement.

In fact, I would say that being able to watch a slow motion replay, complete with sound and heat capture, movement-predicting trackers and the ability to watch it over and over again is vastly more accurate than one look, at real speed with no possibility for replay. But feel free to disagree with me on that one BCCI. You seem to disagree with most of the cricketing world about most things.

So yeah. Basically, I reckon the BCCI have made a couple of bad decisions. That’s alright, right?

Stand, spray and deliver.

Critiques from the arm chair